For Christmas

Thanksgiving has come and gone and the New Year is almost here
Snow is on the ground and it’s time for Christmas beers
Get good and loaded and stumble out into the mall
So I can tell Santa I’ve been a good boy all year long

And when that fat bastard breaks into my house this year
There’s only two things that I want and I want to make that very clear
Don’t want a new tattoo or an HD TV
All I want for Christmas is a pair of boots and a bottle of whiskey

The line to see St. Nick is full of snotty nosed little kids
And I’m feeling out of place in my flight and Doc. Martins
Finish off my flask feel like I’m gonna puke
And I’m up next to see the man in the big red suite

When you puke on Santa he gets really pissed
Not to mention all the parents and all the little kids
So what if I had a little too much Christmas cheer
It’s not like I sat on his lap and pulled his hipster beard

Now I’m running through the mall and I gotta get out of here
Got elves on my heels and I’m surrounded by reindeer
The Santa Clause crew is looking for revenge
And I’m gonna be a bloody mess before it all ends


I guess that fat bastard won’t be coming to my house this year
Not even getting a lump of coal and he made it very clear
No boots or booze for this skinhead right here
Santa’s pissed and now I’m getting nothing for Christmas this year